You know, fancy private schools and colleges. I come from a wealthy family, so, I guess I've had kind of a sheltered life. I, too, pee sitting down, so we have that in common. You know what? Why don't you tell me about you? Graduated from Cal State Long Beach, married your college sweet heart, and sometimes in the middle of the night when you're half asleep you pee sitting down. I really don't know that much about you, aside fromt he fact that you're Charlie's brother and Jake's dad. We'll just pretend that's morning wood.Įverything. There is only room for one alpha dog in this house.Īw, you sweet talker you. Is that true, Charlie? Do I need to know my place around here? You know what she said to me, Charlie? She said I need to know my place around here.Īh, but she did. Well, I ain't hitting any of them attributes, so I don't give a rat's ass.
Now to be fair, Lydia does have her positive attributes. But this broad is taking advantage of my easygoing nature. I don't mind your girlfriends throwing an occasional thong or panties into the hamper, I just boil them and sell them at the swap meet. When we finished, I came to live on your couch! God BLESS couples counseling! When Judith and I started, we were just a couple with a few problems. You know, maybe you're not the right guy to ask.
Along with your money, and your house, and your car, and every last shred of your self-respect! Oh, it's horrible! But it's worth it, because you're paying a stranger to watch while your life goes down the toilet. Once a week, you sit on a couch with your significant other while she snips off your testicles, reaches up inside your chest cavity and goes like this to your heart. I'm going with Chelsea and I need to know what I'm getting into.Ībsolutely. You've been to couples counseling, right? Uhm, Judith's going to Hawaii for a week. So if anybody needs a vacation, it's not you, it's me!. I think you lead a damn fine life-style, that I work sixty hours a week to support. And what, exactly, is stressing you out, Judith? It is the weekly manicure? The housekeeper? you're telling me that *you* need a *vacation*!. no, no, I - I think that *is* a helpful comment! I pay you alimony, and child support, so that you can a nice house, a nice car, aaand every weekend free, because I've got Jake, and yet. Do you just get up in the morning, and figure out ways to make me crazy? Is that what you do? You-you plot it out? "How can I make Alan miserable today? How can I reach into his chest, *rip* out his heart, and suck it dry?"
2 year old doesnt say 2 word phrases series#
The success of the series led to it being the fourth-highest revenue-generating program for 2012, earning $3. The season began airing in October 2014 and concluded in February 2015 with the 40-minute series finale "Of Course He's Dead". In March 2014, CBS renewed the series for a twelfth season, which was later announced to be the series' last. He was replaced by Jenny (Amber Tamblyn), Charlie's previously unknown daughter. Jones, who was attending college, was relegated to recurring status for season 11 but did not make an appearance until the series finale. In April 2013, CBS renewed the series for an eleventh season after closing one-year deals with Kutcher and Cryer. Ashton Kutcher was hired to replace him the following season as Walden Schmidt, a billionaire who buys Charlie's house after his death. Sheen's contract was terminated the following month and he was confirmed not to be returning to the series. decided to end production for the rest of the eighth season after Sheen entered drug rehabilitation and made "disparaging comments" about the series' creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre. In February 2011, however, CBS and Warner Bros. Television reached a multiyear broadcasting agreement for the series, renewing it through at least the 2011–12 season. After Alan divorces, he and Jake move into Charlie's beachfront Malibu house and complicate Charlie's freewheeling life. Jones, the series was about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper, his uptight brother, Alan, and Alan's troublesome son, Jake.
Originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that originally aired on CBS for twelve seasons from September 22, 2003, to February 19, 2015.